If only words could do that

Preparing dinner last night....

Me - "Zachary, put the spatula back"

Zachary - happily banging spatula on the counter

Me - taking spatula and putting it back

Zachary - "Hey, I was playing with that!"

Me - "Didn't you hear the words that were coming out of my mouth? I said to put the spatula back"

Zachary - "Well, if the words would go back in your mouth then you wouldn't say that and I could play with it"

Me - "Why don't you go see what your father is doing?"